Chapter 5. Undressing the Goddess
There are many different levels and layers to the minds, hearts and souls of women, which can be peeled away and removed as are layers of clothing, leaving them even more naked and exposed than the physical form can ever be. At their core women are deeply sensitive, vulnerable, wide open, profoundly loving and also powerful, intense beings. But don’t expect to discover the most deep-rooted, primal nature of a woman right away, or necessarily in this lifetime.
Penetrating these different layers of a woman requires corresponding levels of trust and commitment. Even women themselves aren’t necessarily aware of these different dimensions within themselves, certainly not fully. Of course everyone, men and women alike, has different levels and aspects to who they are based on the millions of things we’ve experienced in our lifetimes, positive and negative, consequential and seemingly insignificant, that have made us the complex beings that we are. But women on the whole tend to be closer to that deeper nature of loving potential within us all. And they are also hungering to a greater extent to reconnect with that potential within us, and to take human relations to the next level of intimacy, and then to the next one after that.
The most important thing is to simply have the intention that you want to experience a more meaningful, loving, honest and more dynamic relationship with your woman, or with women in general. Don’t think that you can just go up to your girlfriend or wife and say, “Honey, I’ve been reading this book that’s changed my mind about some things, and now everything is going to be different between us”…and expect that everything is in fact going to be different between the two of you. Old habits and patterns die hard. Men say they’re going to change all the time, and then they don’t. Women pretty much expect to be let down and disappointed by the lofty aspirations of men in the relationship department.
Start small, and see where it leads. It’s much more important to work at the subconscious levels than at the conscious levels. Allow your simple intention to guide you in seeking and finding a new level of relating, and of being more fully present in your relationship. Women will, in some part of themselves, pick up on the fact that you’ve made that basic shift of intention, that you’ve opened your eyes a little wider to see who they are. And most likely (though not necessarily right away), they will open themselves up a little more to meet you, as you make the conscious choice to get closer to them.
Feel things out and take your time. Be prepared to meet roadblocks, be thrown backwards, meet unpleasant emotions or circumstances, lose your way and make mistakes. It will be a learning experience for both of you to make a commitment to finding a deeper experience of love, pleasure and ultimately ecstasy, since most people have barely scratched the surface, men or women. This process means more than simply going to a new place. It also requires changing who you are along the way. If a woman is going to truly open up to a man, she needs to know and trust that he actually wants to be there, that he’s ready to go the distance, and that he can handle being and staying present with her as she opens up and exposes more of herself.
Along with that intention to change your relationship, you’ll need to make another commitment. That is to allow yourself to learn something from your woman. And not just something, but a lot. That doesn’t necessarily mean that everything she says is right, and everything you know to be true is wrong. It means committing to a mutually beneficial relationship of learning from and evolving along with one another. It means seeing your relationship as a journey of adventure and discovery, and choosing to see your woman as a source of great knowledge and wisdom.
If you’re not really that interested in taking a deeper look at yourself, but just want women to be more interesting and attractive to you, then you may as well put this book down. If you’re not ready to actually make a change at your own core being to some extent, then any changes in the right direction will only be on the very surface and won’t amount to much in the long run. You’ve got to be ready to open not only your eyes but your ears, and hear what women have to say, as well as what they’re really saying underneath what they’re saying. In short, you’ve got to listen, and not just with your ears and your mind, but with your heart and with your soul.