Chapter 6. Stop and ask for directions
Whether or not, as the man, you happen to find yourself in the driver’s seat, there’s something important to keep in mind: the woman has the map. The age-old scenario is that the man is so attached to acting like he’s in charge and knows where he’s going, that he would rather drive around in circles, hoping to stumble across his destination by chance, than stop and ask someone to help him out and tell him how to get there.
But if you’re finally tired of endlessly driving around in circles in your relationship, and ready to humble yourself a bit and admit you could make use of some clues, then look no further than your own woman. Women tend to know intuitively when the relationship is going in the right direction and when it isn’t. This is to a great extent because relationships are in the realm of the invisible, and women generally have a greater knack in this department than men.
Relationships are all about the unseen. A relationship isn’t something easily defined or grasped, that you can say definitively “Here it is, this is what it looks like, where it is and what it consists of”. They are primarily about feelings, emotions, impressions, thoughts, ideas, assumptions, agreements, visions, desires, exchanges and connections on subtle planes of being.
Men prefer to deal with things they can get their hands on and manipulate through force. We love the exhilaration that comes from resolving a good challenge such as a car that’s stuck in the snow or a lug nut that won’t come off, or a game that must be won. The problems that come up in relationships are a different story, and can‘t be solved through the same sorts of tactics in the slightest. They tend to involve experiences and exchanges going on within and between people that can be hard to be aware of even at the time, let alone deal with and straighten out sometime after the fact. This is why women are always wanting more communication; because they are more in touch with the unseen realms, and they want to be there in the present, look at what‘s really going, know what each other is actually thinking and feeling, explore it, be aware of those subtle things going on, deal with them and make sense of them.
And one of the reasons for this is because there’s this deeper level of relating that women want to engage in, this other realm of deeply loving interaction that most relationships are pretty much disconnected from. There’s another world that women want to enter into with men, to explore together, that they have the map to because they know subconsciously that there is a much deeper love available to be experienced, if they could just guide men into that place, or else be guided there, whatever it takes to make it happen. But as long as men are insistent on being the ones in charge, unwilling to consider the real input of women as they drive around in circles, acting like they know where they’re going and as if they don’t need any more information, then there remains this gap, and in many cases a chasm, between men and women that can seem impossible to bridge.